


The whole college thought I was going to propose to Crowley

by 1061340739



Series: dokidoki [1]
Category: Twisted-Wonderland (Video Game)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-27
Updated: 2021-01-27
Packaged: 2021-03-12 22:41:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29018355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1061340739/pseuds/1061340739
Summary: Use machine translation with Chinese original text
Relationships: Malleus Draconia/Reader, Malleus Draconia/Yuu | Player
Series: dokidoki [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2128836
Kudos: 1





	The whole college thought I was going to propose to Crowley

**Author's Note:**

> Use machine translation with Chinese original text

Eighteen minutes ago, when I rushed into Liaohe, mostro lounge's business was booming as usual. The smell of an adult turned into a stripper dancing in front of me in the hallucinogenic light. The air was filled with the sweet smell of the ocean. No matter from any angle, the cowherd shop was extremely standard.Octavinelle

Jade shakes a glass of sparkling wine in front of the counter, and his polite smile is fixed. After the dust I’ve raised, Floyd is strangling a student who can’t see what kind of species he is. Recently, he’s very busy. The students of night Raven college have fully carried forward their ancestors’ fine traditions. In addition, at the end of the term, all the students in the college, from the president to the first grade, are a little short of moneyIn terms of external force, yasasi is using the frequency of every three days to put forward all kinds of improper tools to me, RPG limited tasks, and every night before returning to Liaohe, robbing me of dinner is increasing day by day.Savanaclaw liaosheng

The situation is so bad that the turnover of mostro lounge has to be maintained by abnormal means in the physical sense. When I enter the office, the poor man can only squeeze his breath out of his throat.

I tried my best to smash Grimm on Azul’s desk, and the spitting civet cat fell into a daze. I temporarily stopped swearing at my ancestors’ eighteen generations all the way. I admire his language learning ability for his dangerous words. The octopus mentioned his glasses and asked me in the undulating tone full of deceptive intent: "supervisor, todayWhat can I do for you? "

With a gentle and sincere smile, I said to him in a well worded voice, "let’s make a deal."

"I’ll trade you for Grime’s 20 years of personal control. How about you being my boyfriend before graduation?"

I was kicked out of the cafe by Azul, and the octopus kicked me with eight legs.

At 22:13 p.m., on the road leading to the library, I stood under the statues of seven great men and felt sad in spring and autumn. The stone ghosts were staring at me as an uninvited guest with eyes the size of a copper bell. The autumn wind swept away the fallen leaves. It was a good time to commit suicide. One of the beautiful skins was chosen from thousands of Li, and the interesting soul meal was struck by thunder. Grime woke up in the single digit cold wind and startedA new round of crazy abuse.

"Don’t scold me," I said calmly. "Think about who else the headmaster might be afraid of besides Azul?"

"I don’t know who he is afraid of. I only know that I am afraid of you now!"The sharp voice of civet cat cuts through my sadness. If he is really afraid of me, the cost of tuna can this month will not increase the Engel’s coefficient of Xiao Po Liao by 30%.

I covered my chest and fell straight down. My money was empty and I had no one to rely on. The most destitute and joyful Liaochang in the history of Yeya college was lying on the stone floor, looking at the bright moon in the sky and ignoring the love and hatred of human beings on the surface.Finally, I said to myself, "Grimm, now I’m going to tell the headmaster that I’m a civet. The one I really love is you. Do you still have a chance?"

Grime is quiet.

Maybe he finally understood that my unfathomable lower limit, which is like the Mariana Trench, can not be measured by a cat. Civet sighed deeply and deeply. His soft forepaw pressed on my forehead. At that moment, I almost really thought that this stomach was bigger than Riddle’s delusion of height. Grime’s conscience found that he suddenly awakened the truth of sharing weal and woeI can’t help but burst into tears. I wish to swear to God that I will not complain about Grimm’s request for more meals in the future, and I intend to contribute the hot spring eggs at noon every day to show my cousins’ affection.

Then I heard Bo Liang’s words: "supervisor, when I turn to Liaohe, remember to pack my favorite tuna pillow for me."

I tore off Grimm’s paw and threw him into the pool of the magic fountain with all my strength.

The incident began in the school library this afternoon. After I finished the eighth free principal’s Commission this month, the real assassin tool man who was persecuted by capitalism finally decided to fight back and rushed into the principal’s office with an apple knife. He planned to force assassin to give him money by the collar. After more than half a year, if I didn’t give money again, I was beaten into hospital by GrimmI can’t afford to pay for the medicine. How can I live?

The empty headmaster’s office is cold and boring. I just remembered that today is the day when the latest issue of novel magazine is updated. The false assassin must rush to the scene at the first time, and let the thunder and lightning strike, and the torrential flood can’t hinder his pace of pursuing the update. So I moved to the library with great momentum and arrogance, totally ignoring my power of life and deathIn the hands of the evil exploiting class.

Time is a fuckin ‘thing. It calms the blood and wakes the brain. After enough of being bullied by the money from jiandiliao, the evil gall moved cleverly, stayed quietly on one third of an acre and became a stone that could not move. The crying courage and self-confidence had to come out crying to uphold justice. Yasasi was a whole head taller than meMy anger was quenched. Under the shadow of the shawl, my heart thumped. But now it’s hard to ride a tiger. The headmaster is looking at me with a novel. He can see my twitching face from my hand holding a knife, and then look at the students who are threatened by me to give way automatically. It seems that I can see the American scream of Asahi’s years of cultivation has climbed to his headThe top of the throat, only with a command will choose people and hair, the scene to a Jingke CI Qin twist fairyland version.

I believe there must be a ghost on me at that moment. Maybe it was a pillow fight with the magic Frisbee players 90 years ago last night. I was proud of my intelligence. I ran away from home quickly and quickly. By the way, I packed all my reason and fear. The EQ family was the only one, and directly usurped the control of the brain.

Dedicated brain cells work hard to enter a state of emergency, their loyalty to me is never comparable to that son of a bitch Grimm, Jesus God Nuwa xuanhuang, no matter what they produce now, please give me something that can pacify the status quo!I don’t want to be on the front page of social news. I’m covered with mosaic that can be wiped off by primary school students’ erasers. Those reporters can say anything!

Countless inspirations gathered into generous words, I almost subconsciously put the knife on my neck, spit splashing, passionate tone, in front of dozens of people present, I cried out: "headmaster, please contact me on the premise of marriage!"

I really should read less love stories. Riddle once spent 40 minutes teaching me about my ignorance, but I didn’t listen to it. I was immersed in the realm of kowtowing CP as a young girl in bloom. I cried and roared for other people’s love, like a woman pointing at a cat in an expression bag. Now I paid the price, as well as the eyes of the students in the library.

Before yasasi gave me a reply, I ran away. I didn’t need a mirror. I knew I must be like an old general on the stage. My back was full of flags. I took off my clothes and ran on the Kangzhuang Avenue. The wind was crying, the rain was jumping, the supervisor was growling, and the supervisor was growling. The news spread faster than I thought. On the way, my face was full of tearsA passer-by firmly believed that this was my performance of crying with joy after I loved it all the year round and suddenly turned around. They all gave me Silent encouragement and recognition. I saw in the crowd two seniors who robbed Grimm and me no less than 50 times in the past half a year but failed at one time. Their earnest blessing made me cry even worse.

Now I don’t dare to go back to Liao. When I saw the building from a distance, which was gradually human like by my hand, yasasi’s greasy and exaggerated face would fill every corner of my sight, which forced me to have a dense phobia without criminal record. Grime began to scold me since I left the library. The child would be scolded silly. Don’t scold, don’t scold.

I don’t want to recall how desolate that night was. I only know that I missed breakfast the next day. There are too many people on my way to pursue delicious food. Their questions are all "are you all right?"And "are your eyes OK?"When I went into the classroom hungry, all the creatures on the scene, including the teachers on the platform, gave me a dark, turbulent but meaningless look.

I’m on pins and needles.

The teacher is a good man. He cited classic dramas to prove how reckless choice of spouse has affected the twisted fairyland history. He also reminded me of the dangers of puppy love. Ace and deuce stared at me all morning, but I didn’t even give them a response to prove that they were safe.During the culture class in the morning, I was in a daze for half of the time. My heart was yasasi’s, and there was no sorrow or joy to speak of. However, when Carter came and invited me to lunch, I could not help but clench my fist and yell "yes", because he said that Trey offered to treat me. No matter how much I ate today, riddle paid for it all.

Thank you, boss.

Thanks to the predecessors of heartslabyul, they rejected all the graduate students who were going to dissect me with their broad arms and tall stature. The faces that were ruled by madness passed in front of me. People’s sadness and happiness were different. I just felt that they were noisy and my world was very quiet. There was only gray, gray and gray in front of me.

As if the endless farce came to an abrupt end after I entered the canteen. Today’s dining environment is the best ever since I entered the school. Everyone is sitting in front of me, queuing up and ordering. The rules are different from what a group of villains should have. Five Liaochang and a remote transmitter occupy the best viewing position in the canteen, and the western end of Yasa sits in the center of many guardsIn the hands of a dozen three inch high lecture notes.

I saw that the corner of his mouth dropped by five percentage points, and I understood that this was written by him all night about the influence of the relationship between Muggle love choice and hormone action on the acquired aesthetics, as well as the progressive theoretical research on the magic level produced by the love between teachers and students in Yeya College in the past 100 years. Xiang Zhuang danced swords to Peigong. What I went to was a dying Hongmen banquet.

For a moment, I almost wanted to say yes, but it was just a social death. After listening to yasasi’s speech, I seriously refused my proposal like a real dramatic actor. It was a joke. I was a pathetic pioneer in everyone’s witness, and then moved across the border. When I graduated, my predecessors would treat me as a joke and give it to the freshmen. That’s the jokeI’ve been farted by everyone.

But I can’t do it. I see that the deputy director of diasomnia Liao, who has become an urban legend in the college, and two of my companions who have met me for several times, have taken their usual VIP seats. It’s certainly true that they are good at cursing. Maybe the tough ones can even do it in the air. But how could I choose to flip a coin again at an important moment of my life choice, and then make a choiceBig guns blow it to dust, where the wind comes from, where I go.

My youth, my future, my genius and hometown are incarnated into a loving hand sticking behind me. It uses the tone that I can’t refuse, just like the fox spirit who brings disaster to the country and the people, and the emperor is unstoppable.

So I bravely went up to meet everyone’s admiration, like a real warrior, knelt down on one knee, took out the knife that had become the treasure of the town and school, and held it in the palm of my hand.

"Headmaster."

Asahi looked at me in a complicated way, and the manuscript in his hand trembled slightly.

"Sorry, yesterday was just my nonsense. At the beginning, I just wanted to discuss with you about the routine expenses of Benliao."

I obviously heard that all the people present were relieved. Ace laughed at Grimm’s surprise and picked up the soup bowl. Deuce tried to call out the big pot again and cook the bread and pasta together. The peaceful and conflict filled normal campus life was out of danger and was walking towards me with joyful steps.

If I don’t add that sentence.

"In fact, what I really like is master malleus!"

Poof——

Ace’s cream mushroom soup was sprayed on Trey’s face.

2

I believe that if there is a track in life, then the gear of fate will be broken out of the time machine under my self explosion, and the big objects will collapse, leaving a lot of ruins that can not be cleaned up. The creator stands innocently in front of the mess, and the evil screwdriver in his hand is like a fire breathing dragon.

The sensation was expected. The first one to get up was Leona. He was like a tiger going down the mountain. Ruggie forced him to stop reading a note. The hyena tried to suppress the head of his family. Who knows how he interpreted so much from the silent body language of Leona: "calm down!chill!It’s not a day or two that he’s sick in the head!Please don’t care why he would rather like malleus than you!Don’t argue with malleus about such a disgrace, OK? "

Fuck Ruggie. You’re rude!Is being liked by me an eternal disaster?

Thanks to him, ACE and duece were able to take the lead, pursue excellence, and fiercely break through the protection of brain failure in the digestive period. They seized my slender arms from left to right, with two peaks running through my ears.

"Why do you like malleus?You haven’t seen him at all

"Why do you like men?You’re not a man, too! "

Oh, look, I know no one cares about my living expenses. You just want to persecute the supervisor. But the supervisor is very tired. There are only grime and me in the little hut. Meanwhile, there are 47 million kangaroos in Australia alone.If kangaroo decides to invade xiaolaoliao, I will fight 47 million kangaroos by myself after Grimm’s escape. You don’t care, you don’t care, you just want to know why I like this evil man malleus.

However, I can’t answer either of these two questions. First, I don’t like malleus. Ace is right. I haven’t met him at all. It’s a ghost that I would like him. Second, as a good young woman in the 21st century, it’s my normal sexual orientation to like men, even if I’m flat chested and run over by deuce’s big pot.

In my heart, I secretly apologized to malleus, who had been victimized by the wind criticism without any reason. I expected him not to worry about me, a recognized psychopath, because his reputation was not very positive. I believed in his compassionate heart and compassion for all living beings. But when the light from the corner of my eye swept to diasomnia Liao, his green scallion fellow was coming to me, and his hand was goneAfter pressing the magic pen, it seems that it is not a 20 cm long magic prop, but a peerless sword that can cut off the debris of mountains and rivers. The next target of this sword is my head. When it comes out of its sheath, the head of riddle falls to the ground, which is no longer a pseudo adjective.

There’s a real chance he’ll chop me.

In just a few seconds, my nerve tissue took the lead in an industrial revolution. The steam engine roared, the little train tooted to the scalp, and tens of thousands of brain cells contributed their great lives to the survival cause of their masters. They chanted "Hallelujah" and jumped into the furnace one after another. Ace, rook and Azul were possessed by their souls at that moment!The supervisor is not fighting alone!Supervisor is four people fighting!

I don’t know where the strength comes from. I proudly pushed aside the control of ACE and deuce. Xizi was hearty, angry, frowning and squinting. What I said was even quick to believe: "superficial, you are superficial!"

"You see, the first two letters of the name of senior malleus are the first meaningful names that human beings call when they were born. They represent the glory of motherhood, the inheritance of living beings, and the essence of thousands of years of history. It is enough to prove that senior malleus is a good husband with family consciousness!"

"Two L’s, one for love and the other for life. Love and life, as a term that has been praised since the birth of human culture, show the broad mind and far beyond ordinary people’s eyes of the predecessors."

"E falls after L, which can just refer to evil. Hanging upside down is a sin. Pun, which highlights that the elder generation has inherited the noble will of the bramble witch excellently and is one in a million talents!"

"U, as the sixth positive number in the vowel table and the sixth penultimate in the alphabet, means that 66 is prosperous, his career is bright, and his generous life is as continuous as a surging river."

"And s, the widely used letter, which has a place in any field, does not represent the erudition, outstanding talent and great style of the predecessors."

"To sum up, I fell in love with Mr. malleus at first sight!"

For a time the atmosphere fell into silence.

I stand high in the center of a million lives, incarnating the fearless Hermes, the air incarnating layers of transparent soaked cellophane, one by one stacked on my face, dizzy, breath fading, but I will not admit defeat, life has been enough shocking, the limelight leopard tail should be the whole process of a good play.

The onion, who seems to be able to kill my dog at any time, has come to me. His cold expression has inspired me to sweat all over my back. His shirt is wet, and I’m a counsellor. He danced a thunderbolt dance on my shoulders. If it wasn’t for the stiff legs, I might be able to perform a physical disorder on the spot. My heart is horizontal, and my head will fall to the ground. Twenty years later, it will beA hero, as long as Grimm remembers to burn a few pieces of paper at my grave every year, his life is not in vain.

Onion looked at me solemnly, and turned his hand 180 degrees. He cut off the beard from a position that was about to swing to my neck. He grasped my shoulder. I saw three points of respect, three points of blood, four points of friendliness when I met a bosom friend in a foreign country from this tall and resolute man’s eyes. He stirred it into even dark green cream. It was not Matcha, but more like being added by me in the potion classLove potion for expired frog legs and stale Sandwiches: "I understand!I understand

Animal, what do you know?

I grin to accompany him as an idiot, the only two human beings who can speak at the scene, you say a word to me, smile awkwardly and politely, suddenly someone stood up and clapped, fixed his eyes, is sitting next to Lilia, hair as white as frost and snow, No.2 attendant, why his eyes with tears?Because I love malleus so much?Why do I think you’re worse than me?Brother, stop clapping. Can you have a look at the dear deputy chief next to you?He’s choking his smile. His shoulders are shaking all the time.Diasomnia

Facts have proved that I didn’t grasp the essence of radio transmission. Valet No.2 is just the beginning. There are many students who respect me standing up spontaneously. The flood of applause came to me and drowned my head. The canteen seemed to be the scene of the Standing Council held by the deputies of the National People’s Congress. After ten minutes of applause, even the ghosts in the kitchen were attractedCome here and come with the pots and pans.

Make trouble three silly move the naked eye almost can’t distinguish step slowly away from my side, damn, I know that these three never can count on, than last night more thin cool cold wind a little bit into my bone marrow, among all the attention, riding a tiger is difficult to say, should be my present appearance, I, the supervision student of little Lao, the only female student in the male school, the only one among the magiciansMuggle, at the beginning of the second semester, at the cost of a pure girl’s life-long integrity and the most precious first love, has become an immortal epic of night Raven college.

After school that day, I angrily bought a three digit kebab. In the middle of the night, I squatted in the backyard of xiaopaoliao to make a barbecue, turning grief and anger into appetite. Grime was scared by me and ran to heartslabyul Liao, where no one came to grab food and drink with me.Even if I just stepped on a footprints on the clean indoor floor, yasasi would yell to give me the order of tool man. However, in view of my great achievements recently, I should be able to get rid of the 24-hour illegal monitoring of the principal in a short time.

It was when I got rid of the 38th kebab that Jiao taro suddenly appeared beside me.

By the way, I haven’t introduced Jiao taro.

In terms of a DK’s mental outlook, Jiao taro is really handsome. Generally speaking, he is a handsome guy, super handsome guy, and the universe’s invincible thunderbolt handsome guy. In short, he is handsome, thief handsome, and very handsome. He is so handsome that I have to balance the impact of his appearance on me with the name of Jiao taro, which is the most popular name. Otherwise, I may be watching the moon at any timeIt’s not that I don’t trust my self-control too much, but that I deeply understand that I don’t have self-control at all.

Jiao taro is my unexpected close friend. He is the best accomplice in plotting evil ways late at night. Although Grimm took the nickname for him, they have never met each other.Jiao taro, as I call him, shows a very interesting attitude. Every time I call him Jiao taro, he will make a silent protest against my aesthetics through his sight.

But Jiao taro is also a good man. He knows that I did it on purpose, because even grime can see that every time I read out Jiao Taro’s nickname, he still acquiesces in my unreasonable behavior.

Jiao taro, are you guarding me!How gentle you are!

Jiao taro naturally squatted beside the grill, showing a strong curiosity about this electrical object. I put a kebab into his hand to stop him from directly touching the hot iron plate. At the same time, I took the opportunity to wipe oil on his wrist.

Damn it, it’s so handsome. Any squat is so handsome. If that mysterious senior malleus is half as handsome as jiaotaro, I don’t mind the name of a fool on his back at all.

But I can’t do that for taro. He’s one of my few reliable friends. Our relationship is very wonderful. We know each other and we don’t know each other. We don’t ask about the origin or the way back. Just like the anchor of radio zero and his only listener, they don’t know each other, but they have each other. It’s not surprising that they have no news at any time or any place.

I sorrowfully put down two bowls of rice for Jiao Taro’s appearance. He can still eat more than me. After carefully examining and ensuring that my San Wu kebab would not cause damage to the gastrointestinal function beyond the acceptance ability, Jiao taro swept two thirds of my inventory.

I lazily pack up things, yawn, Jiao taro seems to have a lot of words to say to me, often after the words and desire, let me realize the magnificent waves in his heart, he is really a good man, do not know what kind of family can educate such a beauty and education are so top three good students, I sobbed and rushed to embrace his thigh, commissary grievance"Jiao taro!Do me a favor!Please persuade your Liaochang to refuse me in private!The more unfeeling the better!Please

I seem to see that Jiao Taro’s face is green.

3

While I was crying, I wiped my nose and tears mixed with barbecue materials on Jiao Taro’s trouser legs, and took his straight suit pants as a top-grade washcloth. He was so outrageous that he could kick me out of ten meters at any time, and it was not too much to break my bones and muscles. But he just waited for me to finish crying with a good temper. He picked me up like a chicken and stood at attentionI don’t care what his pants look like.

"Why do you want me toThe Liaochang who refused you?You don’t like him? "Jiao Tai Lang frowned slightly, and the frown was very good-looking. It was so good-looking that no matter women were eight years old or 80 years old, when they saw his expression, they would definitely take a breath of cool air. Whatever he said, they would respond to it, which was more effective than poisonous insects.

Fortunately, I was devastated by Jiao Taro’s appearance for a long time, and I had some resistance. I reluctantly restrained the impulse to rush up and hold him. I packed all the Yellow waste together and threw it into the recycle bin. Then I emptied it with one key, and everything was OK. Then I sucked my nose and said with certainty: "I didn’t like him at all!I haven’t even seen him!Do you know how many brain cells I died at noon thinking about that? "

Jiao Taro’s eyebrows wrinkled more deeply. His unhappiness almost overflowed from two corners. He turned into a villain of resentment. He joined hands and danced tap dance on his head. It suddenly occurred to me that Jiao taro was also a liaosheng of diasomnia. How could liaosheng like to hear other people say bad things about his family?It turns out that although ace scolds me for being stupid every day, most of the time I’m still smart. I can’t compare with the black hearted businessman in terms of my ability to observe words and colors, but it’s more than enough to understand a Jiao taro.

So I tried to stand on tiptoe, barely patted Jiao taro on the shoulder, and tentatively said, "ah, it’s not that you’re not good. I’m a marriage conservative. I’ll have to meet you if it’s suitableNo, no, no, that’s not the point!In a word, it’s wrong for me to treat him as a tool man, but if I don’t come up with a more powerful news to drive yasasi’s attention away, he’ll definitely settle with me in the future. "

My small abacus was so clear that I thought about the beauty of first-class, and totally ignored the driving of asking for help: "as long as master malleus refuses me, I’ll pretend to be frustrated for a few days and wait for Asahi to forget about my playing with him!"

I don’t know if Jiao taro has heard of it. His eyes are so deep that he can’t see me to the end. They are clearer than Lake Baikal, but they suddenly remind me of the eternal astrology that no one can interpret in astrology class. At first sight, it was pure black, as black as Grime’s feet for three days. But with me, I tried my best to keep my heart and mindThe desolate and perverse green slowly crawled out, grinding people even more than the turtles that the whole school had no one to feed in the fountain pool. When I was so anxious, I occupied the whole astronomical telescope.

The astronomy class ended when I fainted on the spot. After that, deuce insisted that I must be suffocating to lack of oxygen, and he criticized my lack of heart without standing up.

But I know it’s not just hypoxia.

I suddenly a spirit, stopped still rambling dialogue, just straight back at the angle of Taro’s eyes.My throat is very dry. My spine collapses one millimeter, one millimeter, and almost shrinks into a ball that no one can see. It’s strange that when Kalim is not here, I suddenly have a kind of fear of falling into the boundless ocean. It’s as silent as death, lingering on my good neck. I can twist off my fragile head with a slight fold. In my panic, I want to call Jiao Taro’s name, but I don’t knowI can’t make any sound.

In the end, I could only add feebly: "after all, I still think that Jiao taro is more important to me than my predecessor malleus!"

He didn’t say anything, just like the magic in the fairy tale that would be invalid at 12 o’clock, suddenly disappeared in front of me.

The next day was the rest day. I broke into heartslabyul Liao with a ferocious smile, one by one. Ace and deuce didn’t let go of each other. The reason for dragging them out of the dormitory was to gather people to hush. They raised their arms and yelled at each other to rob civilian men. But my roommate just watched us walk away with a smile. We can see that Tongliao’s deep love is enough to move the world.

As the saying goes, the bathroom is usually the best place for men to exchange their feelings. A king of yellow and black, who is in charge of good luck, once regarded this narrow space as the only choice for performing the ceremony. Even though I curse the white whoring spirit of unscrupulous capitalists every day, I have to thank yasasi for his inexplicable desire to control the campus buildings. He strongly demanded that the large and small pools be set as the only oneSo the bad habit of booing higher or farther than anyone else has not spread in the night crow college, and I can perfectly hide the empty secret between my legs.

In view of the long time of encrypted conversation, the first plenary session of the bathroom started from standing chatting to squatting heart to heart. I denounced the immoral behavior of the two people who abandoned their friends in the rumors, but ace cried out that they were wronged. His voice penetrated many barriers from the other side of the partition, revealing a distorted dull sound: "can’t you solve it?"

Deuce nodded: "we both have deep trust in you, and I understand!That feeling of expectation for someone because of rumors! "

How do you get it again?Are you in the same family as onion?

If I had just entered school, I might have been moved by the groundless trust of these two people. But now, I am a mature supervisor, and I need to learn to identify who is the real angel. In this old Assassin’s college, most of the praise and compliments are rhetoric, and it is normal for me to start directly.

So I threw a roll of toilet paper in protest, and then banged on the partition to make ace throw it back in a hurry. Deuce threw his roll over and asked me carefully, "supervisor, you don’t really like senior malleus, do you?"

I’m trying to stack a thousand paper cranes with napkins. My brain capacity is not big enough, and I can only transmit them in one line. I don’t want to squeeze out effort to deal with deuce for the moment, so I avoid saying, "have you met him?What does it look like?Handsome or not?Is it a thief or a bull

"It’s not about whether he’s handsome or not."Ace said.

"He’s the one, the one that’s special."Deuce followed.

"He is very tall, conservative estimate about two meters."

"The eye shadow is very bold and looks expensive."

"When you call someone suddenly, there is a sense that you will be pulled out immediately."

"I seem to have a lot of money, and I like electronic pets by accident."

“？”I slowly made a question mark.

Deuce happily repeated: "yes, electronic pets are a little smaller than palms. Their images are pixel patterns that can whine. I used to play them when I was a child."

What is it all about?

I subconsciously felt that this guy was bluffing me. He lifted his pants and resolutely ended the first plenary session of the first Central Committee of the bathroom. It’s not suitable to stay here for a long time. Whenever I stay in a certain place for more than a certain period of time, there will be countless thugs who come after hearing the news and try to communicate with me at a deep level. I don’t like this deep level in any sense. Although I’m good at being beaten, it’s only for meIt’s very uncomfortable to be beaten by someone I know and dragged to be an experiment or a sandbag for no reason.

I’ll come to them just because I want to tell them anyway that I’m sure I’ll be fine. Everything is under my control as it seems.Ace and deuce are one of the few people in this college who are willing to accompany me to squat in the bathroom for two hours at the risk of hemorrhoids. We waste our time together on the nonsense of nutrition. No matter what the content is, at least we have the same soul.

It really takes some skills to make stubborn questioners give up being followers, but obviously the unique magic I don’t pass on is very effective. I can stand down in the crowd and doze off with my eyes open.

It’s not easy to pretend to be sober. I really need a little talent for drama performance. With my skill, I can only maintain the stability for 20 minutes. Then the lady teacher’s whip dressed like a Doberman will fall on my head. In the long run, the penalty area at the class gate has become my only seat, and I can’t help losing face.

So I’m going to change this technique. Grimm calls it foolishness. To put it bluntly, it’s daydreaming.

They asked me how I felt, and I said, "Hey, cap.".

They asked me about my mood, and I said, "laugh, Mickey head.".

They were angry and ready to roll up their sleeves and beat me. I said, "look, there are dragons flying in the sky.“

Then a crowd of people were in an uproar. They followed me like a fool, with their neck stretched out long. They watched the white clouds floating leisurely like little dogs in the sky. The disappointed smacking sound came one after another. Maybe they understood that I was really an idiot, and the onlookers scattered like birds and beasts.

I always sneer at the love and hatred of human beings. I think that life and death are meaningful only when the feelings are too shallow. A life lives to this day. The food eaten alone can be measured by the idiot king who put rice on the chessboard in legend. Even if I howl like a crazy ape man in ancient times when I read romance novels, in reality I still regard all dating and communication as monstersFar away.

There is no eternal and sweet oath, and there is no love at first sight that is more like a lie than a lie. The world of all things is changing too fast and too fast. The birth and death of the lamp in the night rain of one million years is just between the thoughts of the gods.

Therefore, he is cynical, pretends to be stupid, cuts off extra nerves and brain, slices his stomach, makes spicy clear soup, and makes a happy little fool. He has three meals a day, and lives happily.

But this time I didn’t lie.

When I see the hidden dragon in the clouds, I really feel the ignorance of human complacency.

There is no need to describe, feel, or recall. The devastating beauty came to me, and I couldn’t bear to fight back. It broke the flood dike that I had built for a long time in an instant. It can’t be refused or hesitated. Every cell in my body was immersed in the shock that could overturn all the cognition of the past, and was rejoicing because of fear and excitement.

My heart beat wildly out of control. Bursts of sharp pain ripped me out of various illusions. My brain was blank. Except for the posture of the dragon, there was no space left in my brain.I can’t hear other people’s noisy questions, and I can’t feel my own existence. It’s like ice falling into the hot desert, evaporating in the high temperature enough to burn my internal organs. The extremely salty and bitter sweat across the corner of my mouth awakens the sleeping timeline. At that moment, my body shakes like chaff.

The wings are angry, the head is high, which is more eye-catching than any jadeite in the world. Just a glance at the eyes can make me willingly offer my soul, my body and mind, all my faith and arrogance.

I don’t know why, but I firmly and definitely think it is malleus.

He’s looking at me.

He knows everything.

I stumbled back to xiaopaoliao, fell asleep, and had a dream all night. In the dream, Jiao taro and I walked side by side on the hanging tower of Babel. He was in front of me and I was behind. We didn’t talk or chat. He was silent like a poor puppet just produced from the factory. His facial features were vague. Kabala’s tree of life was watered and grown by my sweat, such as moThe west part of the sea is generally between us.

I began to struggle and scream, like a young girl who was about to be sacrificed to the river god in a cage. No matter how I yelled, Jiao taro just stood far away and looked at me lifelessly.The delicate branches wrapped around my ankles and pulled me to the starting point. There was the dragon’s nest. The warm, fishy and sweet breath was surging at the tip of my nose. The Dragon circled its body and perched in the shadow of the nest. The wind from its mouth beat on my cheek, causing pain.

Then Grimm hit me in the belly with a standard fly kick and growled, "get up!Diasomnia’s people are coming to kick the hall! "

This civet is really ruthless. In order to wake me up, my face is swollen because of the tail.

I am still immersed in the unprovoked dream of dragon and horntaro. My face hasn’t been washed, my hair hasn’t been combed, I can’t open my eyes because of eye excrement. My pajamas are drooping on my shoulders, half shy, which perfectly explains why the Golden Phoenix can’t fly out of the chicken coop.

Lilia, who had sent me a Christmas card from an unknown person, was a little man in a suit and shoes. She was meticulous from her hair to the corner of her clothes, which made a tragic contrast with me. Her face was as kind as a senior leader who went to the countryside to express his sympathy to the working people. There was a dark shadow behind her. All of them were liaosheng who came to watch the war. It seemed that everyone thought that he would fight with meWhen I got up, even I was infected by the bad atmosphere. I almost waved Lilia’s high nose when I opened the door.

But Lilia just need to gently clasp my wrist, the slight current from the fingertip to the clavicle, my arm immediately turned into the enemy’s undercover, soft paralysis down, have to rely on the threshold to barely stand.The originator, however, asked me, in an old man’s peculiar tone, whether I had eaten well or not?Did you sleep well?Is the body comfortable recently?Mayor malleus sent me to tell you that he was very grateful for your kindness, but he and I were not at the right age, and he didn’t want to make sure of marriage at school, so he had to thank you for your kindness.

At the end of the speech, master Shi Shiran liberated the confinement, and my two bamboo like arms suddenly gained strength. He walked out with an elegant and standard noble etiquette, and did not even leave a color for the onlookers.

My definition of aristocratic etiquette is very simple. As long as I think "Wow, it’s easy to do, it’s cool to fart", it must be aristocratic etiquette, and I certainly can’t do this kind of thing.

So I directed the ghosts to blow away all the guys who blocked the door, helped Grimm open the tuna can, and walked back to the second floor room to sleep.I didn’t understand what Lilia said. The single threaded brain is just inconvenient. It can only deal with one thing at a time. Although it has reduced a lot of trouble, it has also become the main source of my slowness.

It was a long sleep. At the end of the day, the crows howled at night. I sat on a wooden bed harder than stone with my chicken’s head on my head, and suddenly thought about what Lilia meant.

I got dumped.

Grime’s pink meat mat swayed in front of my eyes for a long time, and the fire breathing civet cat rarely didn’t open its mouth to be cheap. The people who spoke out could actually listen: "hello?Are you sick?“

From its trembling voice, I can know how bad my expression is. Not to say, I’m as miserable as a ghost. At least my lips are whiter than my teeth and my eyes are gloomy. I’m more like a hysterical murderer than when I went to yasasi with a knife.Grime thought I would be happy. In fact, I also thought I would be happy. How wonderful! Jiao Taro’s action was faster than I expected. He only took one day to deal with everything. I should thank him. Beer barbecue, Haidilao, optional, brothers don’t say empty, just full.

But I want to roar, want to go crazy, want to hide in a small corner that no one can find, no one wants to, no one pays attention to, extreme sadness and never felt jealousy pouring in, I feel pain as if I’m going to hold my head to the ground, I’m not happy at all.

Not at all.

For the first time in my life, I stood in the position of robbing others. The local ruffians and hooligans were all fired up, squatting on the side of the road with a knife, more mad than mad dogs. I picked the most familiar one from YILIAO’s life, dragged him into mostro lounge, ordered the most expensive wine on the menu, and said to jade, "who will pay first.“Savanaclaw

As soon as the eel browed, he said to me, "you need more money to send the drunk customer back.“

I said it didn’t matter. It wasn’t me that ended up pouring.

This arrogant reply first aroused the fighting spirit of all savanaclaw liaosheng in the audience. They all came to loot the array with their water cups. I was so happy that I simply asked them to join me.

None of the customers present that day could stand to go out from mostro lounge. I said hello to them one by one. Every time I read out a person’s name, I would add another cup. Jade’s smile gradually disappeared on his face. It was so funny, but he didn’t allow me to take a picture.

I swept all the alcoholic drinks in the coffee shop by myself. The floor was full of mud full of confidence in myself and finally unconscious. How interesting it is, God has given me a confused brain and a personality that can be happy in a daze. At the same time, it has deprived me of the right to live and dream of death.

I haven’t tried the effect of drugs. The main reason is that the little brother in the grocery store didn’t sell them to me. He must have, but his conscience is abnormal in this kind of thing.

Azul took out the contract and continued to cheat people. He once again made a lot of money from me. Drunken students were better than Grimm. Unscrupulous businessmen coveted my ability to drink without getting drunk for a long time. They even wanted me to be a trustee regularly to promote consumption. But I was a serious person, even if the price he offered was enough for me to lie on the BRICsAll my life, but I’d rather go to Kalim’s coffer and have fun than work with octopus.

He instructed Floyd to drag me back to xiaolaoliao. The rest of me, who didn’t pay for wine and didn’t have any use value, took off and threw them into the mirror. I yelled "I’m not drunk and I can walk", but no one came to rescue me. First, Floyd’s expression was really creepy. Second, I acted like a lovelorn who drowned his sorrows with wine.

Floyd did his best not only to put me on the bed and cover up the quilt, but also went to the kitchen and cooked me a bowl of quaint hangover soup. Thanks to him, this bowl of soup made me vomit and diarrhea for three days. Every ten minutes, my stomach and intestines would make me rush into the toilet immediately, and I didn’t have enough courage to bet that it was a fart.

I cried in my bedroom and refused to take medicine, but I stabbed dozens of Floyd’s villains. He must have been ordered by Azul to revenge me. Otherwise, how could 300ml liquid be so effective? It was not cooked with powerful rat poison.

After I got well, the first thing I did was to wholesale a box of ice beer. I sat at the place where I often met Jiao taro and drank it. Some people watched the sea, some people were loved, and some people lived by luck. I believe half of all my luck in my life has been used to maintain my small life, and half to meet Jiao taro.

I really like him more than Trey’s strawberry shuffle at the tea party.

There was no agreement, but he arrived as agreed, neat school uniform, I don’t know if he changed a pair of pants, anyway, I can’t see.

He took the bottle I handed him, unopened, listening to the jar full of wine sloshing in the bottle.

I narrowed my eyes, as if half drunk and half awake: "Jiao taro, if I say, I think something that others think is terrible and terrible is so beautiful, do you think I fell in love with it?“

This problem has occupied the peak in my philosophy. It’s the unsolved problem that I’m extremely looking forward to getting drunk and sleeping with Duke Zhou to see the light of the sky. But Jiao taro solved it easily. He thought for a moment, and his voice was like the string of a bass: "I don’t think so.“

I was suddenly relieved. The black fog that had been in front of my eyes for three days disappeared under the words of Jiao taro. My world was fine after rain, so I beamed and said to Jiao taro: "that’s really great.“

What is good, why is good? I don’t want to think about everything. I let it be abandoned on claw wa island for nothing. At this moment, Jiao taro and I are as usual.

We clinked glasses to celebrate this ordinary night and drank all the cold beer.

To sum up, my first love has not started yet, it is over.

十八分钟前我冲进Octavinelle寮，Mostro Lounge一如既往的生意兴隆，成年人的气息在迷幻的灯光下化身为在我眼前舞动的脱衣女郎，空气里弥漫着海洋的甜蜜气息，无论从哪个角度来看都牛郎店得标准异常。

Jade在柜台前摇一杯气泡酒，他礼节性的笑容定格在被我扬起的尘风后，Floyd正在绞杀一只看不出来是什么物种的学生，最近他忙得要死，夜鸦学院的学生们充分发扬了他们先人的优良传统，加之近期逢至期末，学院上下从校长到一年级无一例外手头都有点紧，表现在外力上，就是亚萨西正在用每三天一次的频率向我提出各种不正当的工具人RPG限定任务，而每天晚上回寮前向我打劫晚饭的Savanaclaw寮生与日俱增。

大势如此，谁家的生意都不景气，以至于Mostro Lounge的营业额必须采用物理意义上的非正常手段来维持，当我进入办公室的时候，那可怜的人已经只能从喉咙里挤出赫赫的呼吸声了。

我用尽全力把Grim砸在Azul的办公桌上，喷火狸猫摔了个眼冒金星，暂时停止了一路上对我祖宗十八代的咒骂活动，其用词之险恶让我对他的语言学习能力佩服得五体投地，当事章鱼提了提自己的眼镜，用充满欺骗意图奸商特有的起伏语气向我询问：“监督生，今日有何贵干？”

我露出温和且诚恳的微笑，以字正腔圆的播音腔对他说道：“我们做个交易吧。”

“我拿Grim二十年的人身支配权跟你换，你来当我毕业前的男朋友怎么样？”

我被Azul赶出了咖啡厅，章鱼用的八条腿一起踢的。

晚上22点十三分，夜鸦学院通往图书馆的大马路上，我站在七位伟人的雕像下，兀自感春悲秋，石像鬼们以铜铃大小的眼珠子直直瞪着我这个不速之客，秋风扫落叶，自杀好时节，美丽的皮囊万里挑一，有趣的灵魂餐遭雷劈，Grim在个位数的寒风下清醒过来，开始了对我新一轮的疯狂乱骂。

“别骂了，”我冷静地说，“你快想想除了Azul，校长还可能会怕谁？”

“本大爷不知道他怕谁，本大爷只知道现在本大爷怕你！”狸猫尖锐的声音划破我内心的伤悲，如果他真的怕我，这个月金枪鱼罐头的花销也不至于把小破寮的恩格尔系数提高了三十个百分点。

我捂着胸口直挺挺地倒下去，钱色两空，无依无靠，夜鸦学院历史上最穷困最乐色的寮长躺在石板地上，看着天上一轮明月，孤傲而高冷地漠视地表人类的爱恨情仇。末了，我鬼使神差地自言自语：“Grim，现在我去告诉校长我是狸猫控，真正爱的人是你还有机会吗？”

Grim安静了。

也许他终于明白了我的如同马里亚纳海沟一般深不可测的下限绝非一猫之力能够衡量，狸猫深深的，深深的叹了一口气，他柔软的前爪按在我的额头，那一刻我几乎真的以为这只胃比Riddle妄想增长身高愿望还要离谱的Grim良心发现，突兀地觉醒了一寮同心共患难的真情，不禁热泪盈眶，恨不得指天发誓今后我再不对Grim的加餐请求有任何怨言，且打算贡献出每天中午的温泉蛋以表兄弟之情。

然后我就听到狸猫薄凉的话语:“监督生，我转寮的时候，记得给我打包我最喜欢的金枪鱼抱枕。”

我一把撕下Grim的爪子，用尽全力把他扔进魔法喷泉的水池中。

事件的开始发生在今天下午的校内图书馆，当我完成了本月第八次无偿的校长委托后，深受资本主义迫害的真正的亚萨西工具人终于决定奋起反抗，抓着削苹果的小刀冲进校长室，打算揪着亚萨西的衣领逼他给钱，半年多了，再不给钱我连当工具人途中被Grim打进医务室的药钱都要付不起了，这日子还怎么过？

空无一人的校长室冷清且操蛋，我方才想起今天是最新一期小说刊物更新的日子，虚假的亚萨西必然在第一时间奔赴现场，任由天打雷劈洪水滔天种种也阻碍不了他追更新的脚步，于是我气势汹汹地移步图书馆，步履轩昂，气势汹汹，全然忽略了我的生杀大权还掌握在万恶剥削阶级的手上。

时间是个操蛋的玩意儿，它让热血冷静，让大脑清醒，被见底寮资金催生的恶胆在作威作福够了以后乖巧移位，安静地呆在自己那一亩三分地上当一颗不会移动的顽石，哭哭啼啼的勇气和自信不得不哭哭啼啼地出来主持公道，亚萨西比我高了整整一个头的身高彻底浇灭了我的一腔怒火，阴影披头盖下，我的心脏砰砰直跳，可是事已至此，骑虎难下，校长先生正拿着小说莫名其妙地看着我，他从我持刀的手看到我抽搐的脸，再望向被我威胁得自动让出一条道的学生们，我仿佛看到了亚萨西修炼多年的美式尖叫已经爬到了他的喉咙顶，只带一声令下便择人而发，现场来一曲荆轲刺秦的扭曲仙境版本。

我相信那一瞬间一定有幽灵上了我的身，兴许是昨晚和90年前的魔法飞盘手们打了太久的枕头大战，曾被我引以为傲的智商以迅雷不及掩耳盗铃儿响叮当之势飞速离家出走，顺带打包了我全部的理智和后怕，情商一家独大，作威作福，直接篡夺了大脑的主控权。

敬业脑细胞们任劳任怨地进入了紧急状态，它们对我的忠诚永远都不是Grim那狗娘养的可以比拟的，耶稣上帝女娲玄黄，总之现在无论产出了什么总之求求你们给我产出点能安抚现状的东西！我不想登上社会新闻的头条板块，被毫无作用连小学生橡皮擦都能擦掉的马赛克糊了满脸，那些记者们什么都说得出来！

无数灵感汇聚成慷慨的词句，我几乎是下意识地把刀架在了自己的脖子上，唾沫飞溅，语气激昂，我当着在场数十人的面，把嗓子喊道破音：“校长，请以结婚为前提和我交往！”

我真的应该少看点爱情小说了，Riddle曾用整整四十分钟的时间对我的不学无术进行了苦口婆心的教诲，但我没有听，我沉浸在一个花季少女应有的磕CP上头境界，为了别人的爱情哭喊咆哮像表情包中指着猫的女人，现在我付出了代价，还有全图书室内学生的眼珠子。

在亚萨西给我回复之前我临阵脱逃，不需要镜子，我都知道我一定像一名戏台上的老将军，背后插满了旗子，我一边脱衣服一边奔跑在康庄大道之上，风在哭，雨在跳，监督生在咆哮，监督生在咆哮，消息传播得比我想象得更快，在飞奔的途中，我的满面泪水让每一个过路人都打心眼里坚定的认为这是我常年爱而不得又骤然峰回路转后喜极而泣的表现，他们纷纷向我投来无声的鼓励和认可，我在人群中看到了半年以来打劫我和Grim不下五十次但一次都没有成功过的两位学长，他们热切的祝福让我哭得更惨了。

现在我不敢回寮，当我远远地看到那栋途径我手而逐渐人模狗样的建筑时，亚萨西那张油腻且夸张的脸就会堆满我视线内的每一个角落，强行引发了我没有前科的密集恐惧症，Grim从我出了图书馆就开始骂我，孩子要被骂傻了，别骂了，别骂了。

那个夜晚到底有多苍凉，我不想回想，我只知道我错过了第二天的早餐时间，有太多的人围堵在我追求美食的前路上，他们的疑问无一例外，全都是“你脑子没问题吧？”和“你眼睛没问题吧？”，而当我饿着肚子走进教室的时候，在场的所有生物，包括讲台上的任课教师都对我投来了暗涛汹涌但意义不明的目光。

我如坐针毡。

老师是好人，他引经典剧，用列举法证明了轻率地选择配偶对扭曲仙境地历史造成了多大的影响，旁敲侧击地提醒着我早恋的诸多危害，Ace和Deuce死死盯了我一上午，但我没能哪怕给他们一个证明自己安好的回应。一上午的文化课里，足足一半的时间我都在发呆，我的心灵已经是亚萨西的了，从此再无悲喜可言，可是当Cater闻声赶来，主动邀请我一起吃午饭的时候，我还是忍不住握拳喊了一声“好耶”，因为他说Trey提出请客，今天无论吃多少，Riddle全部买单。

谢谢老板，老板大气。

感谢Heartslabyul的前辈们，他们用宽阔的臂膀和高大的身材为我拒绝了所有准备对我实行解剖的研究生们，一张张被疯狂统治的脸从我面前掠过，人悲喜并不相同，我只觉得他们吵闹，我的世界安静无比，眼前只有灰色，灰色，和灰色。

仿佛永无止尽的闹剧在我进入食堂后戛然而止，今天的就餐环境是我入学以来有史以来最优秀的，所有人都正威襟坐，排队，点餐，规矩得不似一群反派应有的样子，五位寮长加一台远程传讯机器堂而皇之地占据了食堂最优的观景位置，亚萨西端坐于众多护卫中央，手中一打三寸高的讲稿。

我看到他的嘴角下撇了五个百分点，明白这是他熬了一整夜写出来的有关麻瓜恋爱选择和荷尔蒙作用关系对后天审美的影响以及有关夜鸦学院百年来师生恋产生的对魔法层面的进步理论研究，项庄舞剑，意在沛公，我赴的是场必死的洪门宴。

有那么一瞬间我几乎想就这样答应了算了，不过是一场社会性死亡，听亚萨西讲完演讲，像个真正的戏剧演员一样认真的拒绝我完全是开玩笑的求婚，在大家的见证中做个悲怆的先驱者，接着时过境迁，待我毕业时被前辈们当作笑料将给入学新生，这场玩笑就这么被所有人当成屁给放了。

可是我不行，我看到在学院内部已然成为都市传说的Diasomnia寮副寮长以及两位与我有过几面之交的跟班坐上了他们一贯的VIP座位，他们擅长诅咒的传闻肯定没错，也许强悍者甚至能隔空下术，不然我怎么会又一次在人生抉择的重要时刻选择了抛一枚硬币，然后用意大利炮把它轰成灰，风从哪儿来，我到哪儿去。

我的青春，我的未来，我的天才和故乡化身成贴在我背后的慈爱大手，它用的是我无法拒绝的语气，宛如祸国殃民的狐狸精正在吹枕边风，帝王也无可阻挡。

于是我英勇地迎着所有人的瞻仰走了上去，像个真正的勇士，单膝跪地，拿出那把已经成为镇校之宝的小刀，捧在手心。

“校长。”

亚萨西复杂地看着我，手中的讲稿微微颤抖。

“对不起，昨天只是我的胡言乱语，最开始我只是我想找您商量关于本寮的例行经费。”

我明显听到在场的所有人都松了一口气，Ace嘲笑着Grim的一惊一乍，端起汤碗，Deuce试图再一次召唤出大锅，把面包和意面放在一起煮，祥和而充满冲突的正常校园生活脱离了危险期，正迈着雀跃的步子一蹦一跳的向我走来。

如果我不补充那一句话的话。

“其实我真正喜欢的，是Malleus前辈！”

噗——

Ace的奶油蘑菇汤全部喷在了对面的Trey脸上。

2

我相信如果人生有轨迹，那么命运的齿轮就一定在我这番惊世骇俗的自爆下被崩出了时间机器之外，诺大的物件轰然倒塌，留下一地无从收拾的废墟，始作俑者无辜地站在狼藉之前，手中罪恶的螺丝刀是喷火巨龙的样式。

造成的轰动纯属意料之中，第一个起身的是Leona，他宛如猛虎下山的架势被Ruggie强行打断读条，鬣狗声嘶力竭地压制住自家寮长，鬼知道他到底是怎么从一言不发的Leona的肢体语言中解读出那么多内容的：“冷静！冷静！他脑子有病又不是一天两天了！算我求你了你别在乎为什么他宁可喜欢Malleus都不喜欢你！这种丢人事情你就不要跟Malleus争了行不行!”

干Ruggie你好失礼啊！被我喜欢难道是什么家门不幸的千古灾难吗？

拜他所赐，Ace和Duece得以敢为人先，追求卓越，凶神恶煞地突破了一众还在消化期内脑子失灵地护卫，一左一右扣押住我纤细的胳膊，双峰贯耳，好不刺激。

“你为什么会喜欢Malleus？你根本没见过他！”

“你为什么会喜欢男人？你不也是个男人！”

呵，看吧，我就知道没人在意我的寮费，你们只想迫害监督生，但监督生已经很累了，小破寮只有我和Grim两个人，同时，仅澳大利亚就有4700万只袋鼠。如果袋鼠决定入侵小破寮，那么在Grim临阵脱逃后我就要一个人打4700万只袋鼠，你们不关心，你们不在乎，你们只想知道为什么我会喜欢Malleus这个罪恶的男人。

然而这两个问题我一个也无法解答，第一，我其实并不喜欢Malleus，Ace说得没错，我压根就没有见过他，会喜欢他才是有鬼，第二，作为根正苗红的二十一世纪大好女青年，喜欢男人才是我的性取向常态，就算胸平如被Deuce的大锅碾过也是一样。

我在心里暗自对平白无故便风评受害的Malleus学长道歉，期望于他看在自己的名声本就不怎么正面的份上就不要跟我这个公认的神经病计较了，我相信他悲悯的心灵和怜爱众生的大义，可当我眼角的余光扫到Diasomnia寮处，顶着绿色葱头的跟班正在向我走来，他的手已经按上了魔法笔，彷佛那不是一只二十厘米长的魔法道具，而是一把足以斩断山河星屑的绝世神剑，这把神剑的下一个目标就是我的脑袋，当它出鞘的那刻，Riddle的人头落地便不再是一个具有拟态意义的形容句。

他真的有可能会砍了我。

短短几秒钟内我的神经组织抢先进行了一次工业革命，蒸汽机轰鸣作响，小火车嘟嘟开到头皮，数万脑细胞为了主人的求生事业贡献出了它们伟大的生命，高喊着“哈雷路亚”，纷纷跳入熔炉之中，Ace，Rook，Azul在那一刻灵魂附体！监督生不是一个人在战斗！监督生是四个人在战斗！

我不知从何而来的力气，傲然推开了Ace和Deuce的钳制，西子捧心，怒发冲冠，皱眉眯眼，说出来的话连我自己都快信了：“肤浅，你们这是肤浅！”

“你们看Malleus前辈的名字，前两个字母，是人类出生时最先呼唤的具有意义的名字，代表了母性的光辉，生灵的传承，千万年的历史的精粹凝聚于一点，足以证明前辈是一个具有家庭意识的好丈夫！”

“两个L，一个代表LOVE，一个代表LIFE，爱与生命作为人类文化诞生之际传颂至今的名词，彰显出前辈博大的胸襟和远超常人的眼见!”

“E落于L之后，正好可以指代EVIL，生命倒悬即是罪孽，一语双关，正凸显了前辈出色地继承了荆棘魔女高尚的意志，是万里挑一的人才！”

“U作为韵母表的正数第六个和字母表的倒数第六个，寓意六六大顺，仕途明朗，前辈的慷慨人生如滔滔江水一般连绵不断，鸾飞凤翥！”

“而S，这个在任何领域都拥有一席之地的用处广泛的字母，不正代表着前辈的博学出众，才华横溢，颇有大家风范吗！”

“综上，我对Malleus前辈一见钟情！”

气氛一度陷入沉寂。

我昂扬立于百万生命中央，化身无畏的赫尔墨斯，空气化身成层层透明的浸水玻璃纸，一张张叠放在我的面首，头晕目眩，气息衰微，但我不会认输，人生至此已经足够惊世骇俗，风头豹尾才应是一场好戏的全程。

那位看上去随时都能取我狗命的葱头已经走到了我的面前，他冷峻的表情激出了我一整背的冷汗，衬衫透湿，怂逼的本性在肩膀上大跳霹雳舞，要不是因为双腿紧张得僵直成木头，兴许我能当场表演一个生理性肢体失调，我心一横，大不了人头落地，二十年后又是一条好汉，只要Grim记得每年来我的坟头烧几张纸，这辈子就没算白活。

葱头凝重地看着我，已然举起的手扭转了一百八十度，从一个即将挥向我大好脖颈的方位半路截胡，抓住我的肩膀，我从这名高大坚毅男人的眼中看到了三分尊敬，三分热血，四分他乡遇知音的亲切，搅拌成均匀的深绿色奶油，不是抹茶味，更像魔药课上被我加了过期蛙腿和变质三明治的爱情魔药：“我懂！我懂！”

畜生，你懂了甚么？

我咧着嘴陪他当白痴，在场唯二还能发声的人类你一言我一语，笑得尴尬又不失礼貌，蓦地有人起立鼓掌，定睛一看，是坐在Lilia身边头发白如霜雪的跟班二号，为什么他眼含泪水？因为我对Malleus爱得深沉？我怎么觉得你们Diasomnia比我还不对劲？兄弟别鼓掌了，你能不能看一眼你旁边亲爱的副寮长？他憋笑憋得好痛苦欸，肩膀一直在抖。

事实证明我并未掌握到电波传输的精髓，跟班二号只是一个开始，不断有对我面带崇敬之色的学生们自发起立，潮水般的掌声向我涌来，淹没了我的头顶，食堂仿佛成为了人大代表们召开的的常任理事会现场，持续了足足十分钟的掌声就连厨房里的幽灵们都被吸引过来，拿着锅碗瓢盆前来捧场。

搞事三傻挪着肉眼几乎无法辨别的步子缓缓远离我的身边，妈的，我就知道这仨从来都指望不上，比昨夜更加薄凉的冷风一点点渗入我的骨髓，万众瞩目之间，骑虎难下说的应该就是我现在的样子，我，小破寮的监督生，男校里唯一的女性学员，魔法师众中唯一的麻瓜，在第二学期初，用一个纯情少女毕生的节操和最珍贵的初恋为代价，成为了夜鸦学院不灭的史诗。

当天放学后我愤然买了以三位数为衡量单位的烤串，半夜蹲在小破寮后院做烧烤，化悲愤为食欲，Grim被我吓到跑去Heartslabyul寮，没人跟我抢吃抢喝。虽说放火烧山，牢底坐穿，平日里哪怕我只是在干净的室内地板上踩了一个脚丫印子，亚萨西都会大呼小叫地过来给我下达工具人命令，可鉴于近期我过于惊世骇俗的丰功伟绩，短时间内我应该能摆脱校长二十四小时不间断的非法监控。

角太郎就是在我处理掉第三十八串烤串的时候突然出现在我身边的。

对了，我还没介绍过角太郎。

以一个DK的精神面貌而言，角太郎实在是帅得有些人神共愤，通俗来讲，他是个大帅哥，超级大帅哥，宇宙无敌霹雳大帅哥，总之就是帅，贼帅，非常的帅，帅到我必须用角太郎这个土到极致就是潮的名字来平衡他外貌对我带来的冲击，否则我随时都有可能在睹月谈心时对角太郎做出无可挽回的事情，这并非是鄙人对自己的自制力过分没有信任，而是鄙人深刻的理解了我对美色压根没有自制力这种东西。

角太郎是我不期的密友，深夜密谋歪门邪道最好的同伙，虽说这个昵称还是Grim替他取的，但两人从未见过面。角太郎我如此称呼他所表现出来的态度非常耐人寻味，投放在表情上就是每次我用这个名字叫角太郎的时候，他都会通过视线对我的审美提出无声的抗议。

可角太郎同时也是个大好人，他知道我是故意的，因为就连Grim都能看出每次我念出角太郎绰号时毫不掩饰的玩乐心态，他却依旧默许了我无理取闹的举动。

角太郎，是你守护了我吗！你好温柔！

角太郎自然地蹲在烧烤架旁边，对这电器物件表现出了浓重的好奇心，我塞了一把烤串进他的手里，制止了他想要直接触碰滚烫铁盘的行为，同时趁机对着他的手腕揩了两把油。

妈的，太帅了，随便一蹲都这么帅，要是那位神秘的Malleus学长有角太郎一半的帅气，我一点都不介意背上痴汉的骂名。

可是我不能对角太郎这么做，他是我为数不多还算得上靠谱的朋友，我们俩的关系非常奇妙，介于认识和不认识之间，不问来路，不问归途，如同零点电台的主播和他唯一的听客，互不相识却彼此拥有，对方在任何时间任何地点音讯全无也不足为奇。

我忧伤地就着角太郎的颜值下了两海碗饭，他比我还能吃，在仔细打量且确保了我的三无烤串应该不会对肠胃功能造成接受能力之外的损伤后，角太郎横扫了我三分之二的库存。

我懒洋洋地收拾东西，哈欠连天，角太郎看上去有很多的话想对我说，每每欲言又止后的止言又欲都让我体会到了他心中的壮阔波澜，他真的是个好人，不知道怎样的家庭才能教育出这般颜值与教养都如此顶尖的三好学生，我呜咽着扑上去抱他的大腿，委委屈屈地哭诉道：“角太郎！帮我个忙！请私下说服你们的寮长快点拒绝我吧！越绝情越好！求你了！”

我好像看到角太郎脸都绿了。

3

我一边哭一边把混着烧烤料的鼻涕眼泪往角太郎裤腿上抹，拿他笔直的西装裤当成了上等的洗脸布，暴殄天物得没完没了，角太郎随时都能一脚把我踹出十米之外，摔得筋骨寸断都不算过分，可他只是好脾气地等着我哭完，像拎小鸡一样把我拎起来立正站好，一点也不在乎他的裤子变成了什么样。

“为什么你要我……的寮长拒绝你？你不喜欢他？”角太郎微微皱起眉头，皱的特别好看，好看到无论是下至八岁还是上至八十的女性在看到他的这副表情时都绝对会倒吸一口凉气，任他说什么都满口应之，比下蛊更加灵验。

好在我长时间处于角太郎的颜值摧残下，多多少少产生了些抵抗力，我勉强抑制住了想要扑上去抱着他狂蹭的冲动，连带着一堆黄色废料全部打包扔进回收站，再一键清空万事大吉，接着吸吸鼻子，肯定地说：“我本来就不喜欢他嘛！我都没见过他！你知道中午为了想那段话我死了多少脑细胞吗？”

角太郎的眉头皱得更深了，他的不高兴简直要从两只弯角里溢出来，化身成怨念的小人，在他的头顶挽起手跳踢踏舞，我恍然想起角太郎也是Diasomnia的寮生，哪有寮生会喜欢听别人说自家寮长坏话的？事实证明虽然Ace天天骂我傻，但大多数时候我还是聪明的一比，察言观色的能力比不上黑心商人，可想读懂一只角太郎还是绰绰有余。

于是我努力踮起脚尖，勉强拍了拍角太郎的肩膀，试探性地说道：“啊这，也不是说你们寮长不好，就，我是婚姻保守主义者嘛，合不合适也得见了面再说……不不不，重点不是这个！总之，把他当工具人是我不对，但是我要是不拿出个更加劲爆的消息把亚萨西的注意力压过去，他肯定要找我秋后算账的。”

我的小算盘打得门儿清，劈里啪啦一顿计较，想得是一等一的美，全然忽略了自己还是求人的驾驶：“只要Malleus前辈拒绝了我，我再装几天情场失意，等亚萨西把我耍他的事情忘了就成了！”

我不知道角太郎听进去了没有，他看我的目光幽深幽深的，怎么都望不到底，明明那双眼睛比贝加尔湖还要清澈，却蓦地让我想起了占星课上无人能解读的万古星象，初见时是纯粹的乌漆嘛黑，黑得像Grim三天不洗的脚丫子，可是伴随着我使出浑身解数守心凝神，一股子苍凉乖僻的绿意便慢慢吞吞地爬了出来，比喷泉池中全校有一搭没一搭喂养的乌龟还要磨人，在我急得跳脚的时候盘踞整块天文望远镜片。

那次天文课以我当场晕倒而告终，事后Deuce坚持说肯定是我憋气憋到缺氧，还毫无立场地批判了一番我的缺心眼。

可我知道绝不仅仅是缺氧那么简单。

我倏地精神一振，停止了还在东拉西扯的对话，只是直勾勾的回望着角太郎的眼睛。我的嗓子干涩得可怕，脊梁骨一毫米，一毫米的塌下去，几乎要缩成谁都看不见的球团，奇怪，明明Kalim不在这里，我却突然有了种坠入无边汪洋的恐惧，死一般沉寂萦绕在我的大好脖颈上，只需轻轻一折就能拧下我脆弱的脑袋，慌乱之中我想叫角太郎的名字，却发不出哪怕一点声音。

最终我只能亡羊补牢般苍白无力地补充道：“毕竟比起Malleus前辈，我还是觉得角太郎对我来说更重要啦！”

他什么都没说，像童话中到了十二点就会失效的魔法，突兀地消失在我面前。

第二天是休息日，我带着狰狞的笑容闯进Heartslabyul寮，一手一个，Ace和Deuce谁都没放过，拖他们出寝室的理由是聚众嘘嘘，两人振臂高呼大喊强抢民男，室友却只是微笑着目送我们步步远去，可见同寮情之深厚足以感天动地。

常言道盥洗室通常是男人们交流感情的最好地点，某位执掌好运的黄黑之王也曾将这狭小的空间视为施展仪式的不二之选，就算我每天都在咒骂无良资本家的白嫖精神，但此时却也不得不感谢亚萨西对校内建筑莫名的掌控欲，他强烈要求把大号小号的池子都设为独立的单间，因此比谁嘘嘘得更高或者是更远的陋习并未在夜鸦学院中流传开来，而我也能完美地隐藏自己两腿之间空空荡荡的秘密。

鉴于加密通话时间过长，这次的盥洗室一中全会从站立聊天开到蹲坑谈心，我痛斥两人抛弃友人于流言之中的不道德行为，Ace却大呼冤枉，他的声音从隔板那侧穿透了重重屏障，透露出失真的闷响：“你不是能解决吗？”

Deuce连连点头：“我们俩对你抱有深刻的信任，而且我明白！那种因为传言而对某人产生期冀的感觉！”

你怎么又明白了？你跟葱头是一家的？

若是在刚入学那段时间我可能还会因为这两人毫无根据的信任感动到五体投地，但是现在不同，我已经是一个成熟的监督生了，需要学会辨别谁才是真正的天使，在这个人均老亚萨西的学院里大部分夸奖和恭维都是花言巧语，一言不合直接上手才是常态。

所以我把一卷厕纸扔过去以示抗议，接着狂敲隔板让Ace赶紧扔回来急着用，Deuce把他那卷扔过来，小心翼翼地问我：“监督生，你不会真的喜欢Malleus学长吧？”

我正在试图用餐巾纸叠千纸鹤，脑容量不大够，只能单线传输，暂时不太想挤出功夫应付Deuce，所以避而不谈：“你们见过他没？长啥样？帅不帅？是不是贼牛逼？”

“他不是帅不帅的问题。”Ace说。

“他是那种，那种很特别的那种。”Deuce紧跟其后。

“他个子很高，保守估计两米左右。”

“眼影颜色非常大胆，看上去还挺贵。”

“突然叫人的时候有种马上就要把你拉出去打一顿的既视感。”

“好像很有钱的样子，而且意外的喜欢电子小宠物。”

“？”我缓缓打了个问号。

Deuce很乐天的重复道：“对啊，电子小宠物，比巴掌小一点，形象是会嗷呜嗷呜叫的像素图案，我小时候经常玩的耶。”

这都什么跟什么？

我下意识觉得这厮在唬我，提起裤子果断结束了第一次盥洗室一中全会，此地不宜久留，每当我在某地逗留的时间超过一定水平线，便会有无数闻讯而来的恶徒们仕试图跟我进行深层次的交流，这个深层次我从各种意义上都不喜欢，虽然我很擅长挨揍，但那只限于被我认识的人打，平白无故被人拖去当实验品或者沙包还是很不舒服的。

我会来找他们，只是因为我无论如何也想告诉两人我搞得定，我没事，一切如表面上那般尽在我的掌握之中。Ace和Deuce是我在这学院里为数不多的，愿意陪着我冒着犯痔疮的风险在盥洗室里蹲两个小时的人，我们共同把时间浪费在没有营养的东拉西扯上，无论内容的质地如何，至少我们灵魂相通。

想要让固执的追问者们放弃当跟屁虫着实需要一些技巧，不过显然我不传的独门魔法对此很有效果，往熙熙攘攘的人群里就地站下，睁着眼睛就能打连天的瞌睡。

要装成清醒的样子着实不易，非常需要一点戏剧表演的天赋，以我的功力只能做到维持二十分钟的稳定性，然后穿得像杜宾犬的贵妇老师的教鞭就会落在我的脑袋上，长此以往，班级门口的罚站区简直成了我一人的专座，免不了有些扛不住面子。

所以我将这技巧转而换之，Grim称其为装傻充愣，说得好听一些就是白日做梦。

他们问我的感想，我说：“嘿嘿，帽帽”。

他们问我的心境，我说：“笑死，米奇头“。

他们怒而群起，准备挽袖子上来揍我，我说：“你们看，天上有龙在飞。“

于是一众哗然，跟着我像二愣子一般，脖子伸得老长，看天上小狗狗一样的白云悠哉游哉地飘过，失望的咂舌声此起彼伏，约莫是明白了我真的白痴得可以，围观者作鸟兽散。

我素来对人类的爱恨情仇嗤之以鼻，认为感情太过浅薄，生死才有意义，一条命活到今日，光是吃掉的饭就不止传说中往棋盘上放大米的白痴国王可以衡量的，即便我在看言情小说时嚎得像个上古时期的疯批猿人，现实中我也依旧视一切拍拖交往为洪水猛兽，敬而远之。

没有恒古不变的永远和甜蜜的誓言，也不会有比谎言更像谎言的一见钟情，万物苏生的世界变化得实在是太快太快，江湖夜雨一百万年灯，诞生与消亡不过在神明的一念之间。

故而玩世不恭，装傻充愣，削掉多余的神经和大脑，切片下肚，麻辣清汤，做一个快乐的小傻逼，一天三顿饭，活得有滋有味。

但这次我没有说谎。

当我看到云层中隐匿的巨龙之时，我真真切切地感受到了何为人类沾沾自喜的愚昧。

无需描述，感觉，或者回想，摧毁性的美丽劈头盖脸冲我而来，容不得半分还手之力，瞬间击溃了我长久以来构筑的洪堤，不可拒绝，不可犹疑，全身上下每一个细胞都沉浸在足以颠覆过去全部认知的震撼之中，因为恐惧和兴奋而欢庆鼓舞。

我的心脏不受控制地疯狂跳动起来，一阵阵尖锐的痛觉将我扯出纷杂的幻觉，大脑一片空白，除了巨龙的身姿以外，仅存的脑容量余不出任何空隙。我听不见其他人纷杂嘈乱的问话，也感觉不到自己的存在，仿佛误入炎炎沙漠的冰块，蒸发在足以灼烫内脏的高温中，极咸极苦的汗水划过嘴角，唤醒了沉睡的时间轴，那一刻，我的身躯抖如筛糠。

翅翼怒张，头颅高扬，比世间任何翡翠都更加夺目的眼睛只需轻轻一瞥，就能让我心甘情愿地供奉上我的灵魂，我的身心，我全部的信仰与狂妄。

不知为何，我坚定而决然的认为它就是Malleus。

他在看我。

祂什么都知道。

我踉踉跄跄地跑回小破寮，倒头就睡，浑浑噩噩做了一整宿的梦，梦里有我和角太郎，我们并肩行走在倒悬的巴别塔上，他在前，我在后，我们不说话，不聊天，他沉默地像个刚刚从工厂产出的劣质人偶，五官模糊不清，卡巴拉生命之树被我的汗水浇灌成长，如摩西分海一般横距在我们之间。

我开始挣扎，尖叫，像即将被献祭给河神的关在笼子中的祭品少女，可无论我怎么呼喊，角太郎都只是站在很远很远的地方，毫无生气地看着我。细嫩的枝条缠绕上我的脚踝，将我拉扯向进发的起点，那里是巨龙的巢穴，温暖腥甜的气息涌动在我的鼻尖，巨龙盘旋身躯，栖息在巢穴的阴影处，从它口中吐出来的风挥打在我的面颊上，生疼。

紧接着Grim以一个标准的飞踢击中我的肚皮，高声咆哮道:”起来！Diasomnia的人过来踢馆了！”

这狗屎狸猫下手是真的狠，为了叫醒我至于吗，尾巴抽得我脸都肿了。

我依旧沉浸在巨龙与角太郎相继出现的无端梦境里，脸没洗，头没梳，眼屎糊得睁不开眼睛，睡衣耷拉在肩膀，含羞半露，完美诠释了何为鸡窝里飞不出金凤凰。

那为曾给我送来了不知名人士圣诞贺卡的小个子Lilia西装革履，从发丝到衣角都一丝不苟，和我造成了车祸现场般的惨烈对比，面目亲切得仿佛下乡慰问劳苦人民群众的高级领导，身后乌压压好大一片黑影，都是前来观战的各寮寮生，似乎所有人都以为他会跟我打起来，就连我自己都被这不良到顶点的气氛所感染，开门的手差点挥上Lilia高挺的鼻梁。

可Lilia只需要轻轻扣住我的手腕，细微的电流从指尖窜至锁骨，我的胳膊就立刻叛变成了敌方的卧底，软软的瘫了下来，非得倚着门槛才能勉强站立。始作俑者却像没事人似的，以老人家特有的语气询问我吃得好不好？睡得好不好？身体最近舒不舒服？Malleus寮长派我前来告诉你，他非常感谢你的好意，但是我和他两人的年纪并不合适，他也没有在学校确定婚姻的想法，所以只能承蒙厚爱了。

话毕，大老爷施施然解放了禁锢，我那两条细竹竿一样的手臂骤然有了力气，他以一个优雅且标准的贵族礼仪华丽退场，甚至没留给围观群众一个颜色。

我对贵族礼仪的定义很简单，只要是我觉得“哇塞好做作好臭屁好酷炫“哦那就一定是贵族礼仪，而这种东西我定然是做不出来的。

于是我指挥幽灵们把堵了门的家伙们全部轰走，帮Grim那个没义气的开好金枪鱼罐头，自己溜达回二楼房间继续睡觉。我是没有听明白Lilia到底说了什么的，单线程的大脑就是不方便，一次只能处理一件事，虽然少了许多麻烦，但也成为了我慢半拍的最主要源头。

这一觉睡得真长，睡到了日薄西山，夜鸦嘶嚎，我顶着鸡窝脑袋坐在比石头还硬的木板床上，恍然想清楚了Lilia来究竟为何意。

我被甩了。

Grim粉红的肉垫在我眼前晃了半天，喷火狸猫少见的没有开口犯贱，说出来的人话居然能听：“喂？你是不是生病了？“

从它颤抖的声音中我可以得知我的表情究竟是有多差，不说惨如厉鬼，起码也是唇比齿白，目光阴郁，说不准比我带着小刀去找亚萨西的时候更像个歇斯底里的杀人犯。Grim以为我会开心，事实上我也以为我会开心，多棒啊，角太郎的行动迅速得超过了我的想象，只用了一天就处理完了所有事情，我应该感谢他才对，啤酒烧烤海底捞，任选，兄弟之间不说虚的，管饱就成。

可是我想嘶吼，想发疯，想躲进无人能发现的狭小角落谁都不想，谁都不理，极度的悲伤和从未感受过的嫉妒铺天盖地地涌来，我痛苦地好像马上就要抱头倒在地上，我一点也不开心。

一点也不。

我生平第一次站在了打劫别人的位置，地痞流氓的气场火力全开，拿着小刀蹲在路边，比疯狗更加疯狗，从一众Savanaclaw寮生中挑了最眼熟的那个，把他拖进Mostro Lounge，点了菜单上最贵的酒，并对Jade说：“我们谁先倒了谁付款。“

海鳝眉头一挑，跟我说：“送醉倒的顾客回去要加钱。“

我说没关系，最后倒的反正不是我。

这一嚣张到不行的回复率先激发起了全场所有Savanaclaw寮生的斗志，他们纷纷举着水杯前来掠阵，我乐得要死，干脆叫他们一起上。

当天在场的顾客没有一个能站着从Mostro Lounge出去，我和他们一个个的打招呼，每念出一个人名就多加一杯，Jade的笑容逐渐消失在脸上，那样子好笑极了，可他不准我拍下来。

我一个人扫荡了咖啡厅所有的含酒精饮品，满地都是对自己充满信心最后不省人事的烂泥，你们说多有趣，上天赐予我迷糊的大脑和一个人发呆都能乐出来的性子，同时剥夺了我醉生梦死的权利。

我没试过毒品有没有作用，主要是杂货店的小哥不卖给我，他肯定有，却在这种事情上良心异常。

Azul拿着契约单出来继续骗人，他又一次借着我的东风赚了个盆满钵满，喝醉了的学生们比Grim还好处理，奸商垂涎我千杯不醉的能力很久了，甚至曾有过想让我定期来当托促进消费的不正当想法，可我是个正经的人，就算他开出来的价格足够让我躺在金砖上流哈喇一辈子，但我宁可去Kalim的小金库过过瘾也不想跟章鱼狼狈为奸。

他指挥Floyd把我拖回小破寮，剩下没付酒钱也没什么利用价值的全部脱光扔去镜间，我高呼着“我没醉自己能走“，却没有任何一个人前来搭救我，一是Floyd的表情实在瘆人，二是我表现的实在太象是一个借酒浇愁的失恋者了。

Floyd尽心尽力，不仅把我送到了床上，盖好被子，还去厨房给我煮了一碗味道诡异的醒酒汤，拜他所赐，这碗汤让我上吐下泻了三天，每过十分钟我的肠胃就会大张旗鼓，催使着我立刻冲进厕所，而我没有足够的胆量去赌它是一个屁。

我在寝室里哭，闹，拒绝吃药，但扎了数十个Floyd的小人，他肯定是受了Azul的命令伺机报复我，不然区区300ML的液体怎么会有如此效力，又不是用强效老鼠药煮的。

病好以后我做的第一件事就是死性不改地批发了一箱冰啤，坐在我与角太郎常见面的地方接着喝，有人看海，有人被爱，有人靠运气活到现在，我相信我这辈子全部的运气一半用在了维持我这渺小生命的份上，一半用在了和角太郎相遇上。

我是真的很喜欢他，比对茶会上Trey做的草莓舒芙蕾更喜欢。

没有约定，他却如约而至，工整的校服，不知是不是换了条裤子，反正我看不出来。

他接过我递过去的酒瓶，没开封，听着满罐的酒水在瓶子中晃荡。

我眯着眼，仿佛半醉半醒：“角太郎，如果我说，我认为某样别人都觉得很可怕，很可怕的东西美丽极了，你会觉得我是爱上了它吗？“

这个问题在我的哲学思想中占领了巅峰，是我无比期望着大醉一场，与周公同眠才能窥见一线天光的无解之题，但角太郎轻易的就解出来了，他思考片刻，声音如同低音提琴的弦鸣：“我认为不是。“

我骤然松了一口气，三天以来蒙在我眼前的黑色迷雾在角太郎的一句话下烟消云散，我的世界雨过天晴，于是眉开眼笑，对着角太郎灿烂地说道：“那真是太好了。“

好什么，为什么好，所有的一切我都不愿去想，无足轻重地事情就让它被抛弃在爪洼岛上自生自灭，此时此刻，我和角太郎之间一如平常。

我们碰杯，庆祝这个普通的夜晚，将冰啤一饮而尽。

综上所述，我的初恋还未开始，已然结束。


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